Father's Day: Good Men Still Exist!

Can we talk about Dads for a second? Father’s Day is upon us so, I thought it was a perfect time to give a shout out to some great dads I know! As a single mom, and one with not great co-parenting experiences, it would be easy to fall into not wanting to appreciate Father’s Day, but there are some men out there, that I know, and I’m sure you know some too, that have been everything a dad should be. It’s for those men that I write this week’s post! I have 6 dads in mind. No names (I don’t want to embarrass anyone ha-ha) just some great men that have been an inspiration to me!

I’m going to start with a dad that became a dad totally by surprise. When I say surprise, I don’t mean that his kid was unplanned, although he was, I mean that baby mama showed up at his door with the baby. I think most young men would have panicked and maybe ran. Not this guy. He fully embraced his new role. Baby mama lived in a different city about 3 hours away to start and, he would make regular trips to see his son regularly just for the day. Ok so maybe that’s nothing extraordinary because a dad should spend time with his baby, but he was also happy to care for mama even though they were not together. I remember him telling me one Christmas that, not only did he buy gifts for his son, he also bought mama a new TV and a leather coat. I think it was because she didn’t really have anyone to do anything like that for her and that is just the kind of guy he is. Eventually mama and son moved closer to dad and son started spending a lot of time at his house. Son ended up moving in with dad full time. He is a doting father that loves caring for his son. Son’s all grown up now and still lives with dad. I don’t think its because he has to, I think they are good together and dad is a care taker so continues to want to care for his boy. If I haven’t sold you yet on how incredible this dad is, this might get you. For the last 2 years he has also been a, more than, full time care giver to his mom. He refuses to have her in a home or have a nurse help. He moved in to the bedroom next door to hers so that he can be available to her any time day or night. When I said care giver I meant to the max. This man has so much love for the people that matter to him in his life that he will literally do anything for them. I am incredibly lucky to have had this great guy as one of my closest friends for almost 35 years! Happy Father’s Day You!

There is no way I could make a Father’s Day post without talking about my papa. I know I said no names, but this man deserves some accolades! When he married my mom, I don’t think he had any idea what he was in for. Overnight he became a dad to a 17 and 14 year old. I was no where near a model youth but by the time they got married I had started to figure out that life was so much easier if I followed the rules. That’s not to say I did all the time but I was getting there. My sister, on the other hand, was just coming into the wonderful teenage period when they have the whole world figured out and pushing incredibly hard for their autonomy. Papa was pretty young at the time so to have to deal with 2 teenage girls when he didn’t have, really any, experiences with teenagers. It was a miracle he made it past the first 6 months. Only 2 years in to the marriage I made him a grandpa. I can only imagine that being another layer of responsibility that he wasn’t expecting so very young. Papa has dealt with everything that’s been thrown at him in the last 30 years with so much love, grace and respect. There has never been a time that I have not felt utterly loved by him. For a man that walked into my life when I was 17, he has been everything that I could have ever hoped for in a dad and a papa. Thank you Papa, for not running away screaming in those first years. I can only imagine that some days you must have wondered what you got yourself into, but I for one am so glad you are still here. Love you so, so much! Happy Father’s Day!

To stay with the dads that chose to be a dad before the were made a dad I know two men that have their stories entwined. The first of the two became a dad at 18 when the sweetest little boy was only one and a half, and before a year had past, he and mama welcomed a gorgeous baby girl followed by another stunning girl 5 years later. This family, I tell ya, was so beautiful they were heart eye emojis all day! Over the years he provided for his family, was active in sports and was a pretty great dad to his growing family. Sweet little boy often got mistaken as being his biological son. People thought they looked a like but also their mannerisms were very similar. Kids really loved being around him and he was an amazing uncle to my crew over the years. Like so many other families the marriage didn’t last, but its ok. Mama found a new great man! This lady’s picker is not broken! He stepped into a step dad role seamlessly. The kids loved him and had for a long time. Everyone was friends. Its one of those dream situations, where there is no animosity between all the parents. Everyone is friendly! They have camped together, done holidays together. Mama and step dad had 2 more sweet boys who call their older siblings dad Uncle! They all made this, version of a blended family, look easy. It’s not, and not everyone is at a level that they can pull this off. The four parent adults in this situation understand that it’s the kids that come first and with the mutual love and respect they all have for one another there are real friendships between them. I’m fucking jealous, but also so fucking proud of these people! I love you all and to you two amazing men, Dads and uncles, Happy Father’s Day!

There are many more step dads that I could highlight but one in particular brought everyone to tears on the day he married his sweet stepson’s mama! During the ceremony he got down on one knee and said vows to a sweet little 3 year old and gave him a wedding ring too. I swear not a dry eye in the house. They went on to have a sweet little girl that wrapped her daddy around her little finger. This sweet little family was a huge part of my life when Stephen was little. I spent weeks on end with them because they were amazing to be around! Stepdad doesn’t always mean that he isn’t the most important dad. In this situation mom and dad didn’t make it either but dad and son are still very much dad and son. Dad has been a constant figure on both kids lives with both of them at times choosing to live with him. Mom and dad have both moved on and he now has several more step kids that have the pleasure of calling him dad. This is also his first Father’s Day as a grandpa! He’s another inspiring role model that my kids have been lucky enough to call uncle. Near or far I hope this great dad has an amazing fathers/first grandfathers day this year!

Last but obviously not least is yet another dad that first chose to be a dad before he was a bio-dad. This great guy was a step dad for, I believe, 7 years before mama gave birth again, after which she had another 3 years later leaving dad with 3 beautiful boys. After a 10 year relationship they separated amicably and have been successful co-parents for 8 years. Over the 8 years dad was in a relationship that resulted in twins! This guy is probably the most active dad I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. There is rarely a time that he doesn’t have the kids out doing something or at home being creative. The kids have the pleasure of their dad’s experience in dirt biking, hiking, fishing, camping and hockey. On days that aren’t so exciting there is always the swimming pool, bike riding, the park, baking, and crafts. He’s very involved and the kids can always count on him to be there. My kids come up to me all the time and I get random hugs, kisses and I love yous, but this isn’t something that I have witnessed many kids do with their dads as much as my kids do with me. There is a first time for everything. They are always walking in from outside and giving him hugs and telling him they love him. These kids know without a doubt that they are loved. His goal is always to do what’s best for his kids; he and first baby mama are an amazing team that work as a united front for their children. They have a lot of respect and love for one another even though they are both with other partners. Both new partners respect these two in how well they have done as coparents. Not that you need it, but in case you aren’t convinced…baby mama has an adorable 5 year old with her new husband that this dad babysits on a regular because he works from home. Talk about one big happy family! He has so much to offer that anyone, but particularly kids, will benefit from having this dad in their lives. Happy Father’s Day, you all around incredible guy!

Just having a child with someone doesn’t always make a man a father and Father’s Day can be a hard day for some single moms. This this year I chose to focus on just a couple of the truly amazing dads I know. Honestly, I could probably do another whole post just about my uncles; maybe next year? If you are struggling because of the relationship you’ve had with your dad, or the relationship you have with your kid’s dad, try to look a little broader and celebrate the men that you know that are great! Celebrate your uncles, brothers, friends hubbys or your own friends. Good men are out there and so are great dads! This Father’s Day look around and be thankful for the men that raise the bar, the men that remind us that being a good dad doesn’t make them less of a man. Celebrate the men that are teaching our boys how to be men and our daughter how they deserve to be treated! For all you men that have stepped up or stepped into someone else’s shoes I hope you all have the happiest of Fathers Days!