Birth Stories Part One: Stephen and Nathan

Mothers Day has just past and I thought it would be a nice idea to reminisce about becoming a mom myself. I have 6 completely different birth stories and I have never written them all down let alone written them all in one place. I used to also have a theory that the way my baby reacted to me being in labour very much matched their personalities so it will be interesting to see if that still hold true all these years later. I guess there isn’t much more to say as introductions so here we go!

Stephen Daniel:

I was barely 19 when I went to a walk-in clinic because I was a week late. I had my cousins and a group of friends with me and when I walked out into the lobby, they all stared at me waiting for me to tell them the verdict. I quickly said “it’s positive, lets go.” I wanted to get out of there because I could feel the judging eyes of the receptionist boring into the back of my head. After that there was telling the father and family. There were mixed reactions, which is to be expected seeing as I was still a teenager, had no job and was spending most of my time at my cousin’s house. The pregnancy was mostly uneventful and I felt pretty good. At 8 months I moved back in with my parents and got ready for baby to arrive. I went to the 36 weeks appointment and baby was measuring perfect at 36cm. Unfortunately, that is where he stayed. Day before my due date I got a call that I needed to go for an ultrasound to check on baby. On my due date I was babysitting my little cousins so I brought them to the ultrasound with me and they played in the corner. The tech took a really long time and then she left and told me to stay put. A doctor came in to check the ultrasound and she told me that his stomach wasn’t growing anymore. I clarified with her whether she was talking about his tummy or his stomach organ. I was actually relieved that she meant the circumference of his tummy. She recommended that I be induced as soon as possible. She wanted to get him out so that he could start eating and growing again. That night my cousin and one good friend came to spend the night because they were going to be my coaches if there was a bed available the next morning. The call came in at 6am that there was a bed available for me and off we all went. They used some kind of a jelly on my cervix and then told me to come back in a couple of hours. We went to a local mall and had some food. I was having minor contractions but nothing terrible; it was enough that I wanted to go back to the hospital so that I could lay in bed and relax. The nurses brought me some dinner because it looked like it was going to be a long night for me. It was fish sticks and green beans. I wasn’t good at all but I was hungry so I ate it. Really nothing was happening, I had been 1cm dilated for several weeks and I was still 1cm when my doctor checked me and so she broke my water. OMG, that got things going. Labour sucked I was, obviously, in a lot of pain almost instantly. The only thing that even felt remotely good was pressure on my lower back and so my coaches and parents took turns pushing on my back. I gave them all a major arm workout that night, haha. The pain was still too much so the nurse told me to try the gas. Mask on breath in, breath out. I followed the directions and felt like I’d smoked a joint so I sat up and said “I feel stoned”. That wasn’t a feeling I particularly wanted to have; I was really nauseated every time I used it. I kept trying to use the gas; I’d breath in, take the mask off for a few breaths and then use it again. Every time the nurse saw me do this; she would tell me that I had to leave the mask on which frustrated me because I was pretty sure if I did that, I as going to be sick. One of the times she came into the room I left the mask on my face for the whole contraction, and just like I tried to tell her what was going to happen my fish sticks and green bean made their second appearance of the night. I really didn’t want to used the mask anymore after that so the nurse gave me a shot of Demerol which did nothing but give me a sore bruised ass. You know how “they” tell you that your body will know when it’s time to push? My body was broken because I was pushing uncontrollably and I was only 6cm. All the way through the contractions I would repeat “don’t push, don’t push, don’t push” until the contraction passed. I was afraid that if I did push that my cervix would swell and then I’d be in labour even longer. I didn’t want to do this any longer than I had to at this point. I have no idea how long that lasted but eventually it did stop. When I finally reached 10cm the nurse wheeled me in to the delivery room. Back then it wasn’t one room for both. There was a labour room and a delivery room. It looked like an O.R. A big sterile room that was dimly lite. The nurse helped me get my feet into the stirrups and into the “right position”. My mom and my cousin where in there with me and every time I was told to push, they would help pull my legs back. I’d drop my chin to my chest, hold my breath and push to the count of 10. I was so tired at this point that I was really being lazy about it. My doctor told my I should be able to push three times with each contraction but I was only doing one because I wasn’t telling anyone when the contraction would start. When the ring of fire started that was it, this needed to end now, this baby needed to come out. I really started pushing all the way through the contractions at this point and I got his head out. My doctor told me to stop pushing and to pant. She blocked the mirror so I couldn’t see what was happening anymore and she pulled out a needle to freeze me. I told her I did not want an episiotomy (I’d heard the horror stories in the birthing class I’d taken about how much harder it is to heal) she told me it was just in case. That was a white lie on her part. She knew she medically had to do the episiotomy because the cord was so tight that she couldn’t get her finger between the cord and his neck to pull it off and with every push it was getting tighter. My mom was watching the whole thing and later told me how impressed she was with my doctor because if she had let on what was going on I may have panicked and tried to push harder. She had to cut the cord off from around his neck and then she told me to push again. At 3:09am October 28, 1994 a very sweet, very pale Stephen Daniel entered the world weighing 7lbs 1oz. He was looked over, cleaned up a little, wrapped up and brought to me. My doctor made a point on telling us that she was surprised with what had happened with the cord that his Apgar score was so high. In case you don’t know what an Apgar score is, doctors rate a baby’s colour, heart rate, reflexes, muscle tone and respiration. Each of these can have a score out of 2 and totalled to a score out of 10. My sweet boy was 9/10. Not sure what the lost point was for but I can assume it was because he was so white and not all pink. By the time I was in my room it was around 5am so the nursery took him for 2 hours so I could get a little sleep. I went home the next day because my day nurse was awful. She man handled him so roughly and I think she was unimpressed with my age. Stephen also refused to nurse, and she wasn’t very nice to me about that either. It was just better for the both of us to go home. That’s when my life long journey of momhood started. That incredible human is 28 now! I can’t believe I still remember that much detail from something that happened almost 30 years ago. That was the day my dreams of being a mom came true. That tiny little boy made me a mom and single handily saved my life and set me on a much better path than I was on!

Nathan Robert:

With my second I remember sitting in my little basement suite and thinking something in my stomach just didn’t feel normal. I went to the local clinic, again, and asked for a pregnancy test. The doctor was a kind older man and when he came into the room, he told me that the pregnancy test was negative. He asked me if he could do an internal exam and I agreed. I believe if your pregnant the cervix is blue. He told me I was pregnant, but he was going to send me for a blood test to confirm it. I asked what if its also negative. He said that the hormones weren’t high enough seven days ago but I that I was pregnant he was positive of that. He was right, and the blood test confirmed it. My oldest was 8 years old and I was going to be starting all over again. I was over the moon though. I didn’t think I was going to have the chance to have anymore kids. For the most part the pregnancy was uneventful. The only thing different is that this baby was big. I left my home town to stay with my parents for the end of my pregnancy. I was going to have the same doctor that delivered my first deliver this one as well. He was measuring about 2 weeks over where I actually was. I asked her if it was a big baby or a lot of water. She said it was both. Getting to the end of the pregnancy was really hard. He was so big. It was hard to walk. My back was so sore, my sciatic hurt so much. I wanting this baby out. Two weeks before my due date my doctor told me no more sugar, because the baby was really big and didn’t need anymore fattening up. Specifically, she said no more ice cream or slurpees or candy…how did she know that my cravings, hahaha. My due date came and went. Every day I would time the Braxton hicks hoping they would do something but alas they’d always stop if I started to move around. March 27, 2004 a contraction woke me up at about 5 am. I was time!!! I woke my parents up. Called my best friend, Dad, and the doctor and headed to the hospital. I was in labour, five days late but it was happening!! I was 3cm when I got there. That was so exciting because with my first I didn’t move past 1cm without the doctor breaking my water. I think I was handling it like a champ. I was walking the halls and in between contractions I was cracking jokes. Sometime around noon my doctor came to check me and I was 7cm! She said, that I was too happy and she was going to break my water. There was so much water that it was audibly glugging and every time I moved more came and I got soaked again. Breaking my water changed everything. I wasn’t able to walk anymore or crack jokes and for 5 hours there was no break between contractions. I was losing it. There was a tiny black dot on the wall across the room and I had to see it and focus. If anymore blocked it I would freak out. I remember at one point my sweet, sweet boy wanted to bring me a cool cloth for my head and I told him to go away. I felt like I was going to be sick and I didn’t want to get sick on him. For those 5 hours several visitors came to see how things were going. I remember them there but really couldn’t acknowledge they were there. A friend of mine even brought a friend of his that I’d never met. I felt like everyone was having a great time around me and I was losing my mind. My doctor came back after the 5 hours to check on me. Before she checked how dilated I was she got a little assertive with me and told me to calm down when someone was standing in front of my black dot. When she checked me, I was still 7cm. 5 hours of pain and nothing was happening. I told her I needed the epidural. She told me it was too late I was 7 cm and they wouldn’t do it. I told her this baby wasn’t going to come unless my body had a chance to relax and do what it needed to do. She gave me an IV with saline. She said I needed that bag in me before they would do the epidural. Twice while that was dripping into my hand, she pushed fentanyl into the IV. I was finally having a one minute break between contraction. The anesthesiologist came in and gave me the epidural and OMG what a difference. I was back to laughing and making jokes. They strapped the monitors up to my belly and they couldn’t find the babies heart beat. They stuck a little electrode into his head and still nothing. They asked me to turn on to my left, and there he was! I went back on to my back and he was gone again. Move the electrode and still nothing. Turn on to my left and there he was again! Seemed the only way to keep his heart beat was to stay on my left side. One hour after the first shot of fentanyl and I was 10cm! I knew it! My body just needed a chance to relax. There is a problem though. When I was on my back, we were still losing his heart beat. My doctor called to get an OR ready and started to rip a vacuum out of the bag. I wasn’t thinking clearly. Id been in labour for 13 hours and I was remembering my friend’s baby that was pulled out with a vacuum and he had the biggest lump on his head. The lump goes away but I didn’t want it and at the moment wasn’t thinking of the baby’s safety. I did not want to use the vacuum. My doctor told me she was going to give me one chance to deliver the baby on my left side. I laid there while the team of people got ready for baby’s arrival and I looked at my best friend and said I can’t lose him. She assured me everything was going to be fine. Time to push. I remembered the last time I was lazy to begin with. I couldn’t do that this time. The epidural was still working brilliantly and I knew how to push and push I did. After my first push my eldest walked in and got a full view, I told him to hurry up by my side, poor kid. I don’t remember how long I pushed but it wasn’t long and he was here. On March 27, 2004 at 6:07pm weighing 8lbs 14oz my sweet big little man Nathan Robert arrived! My hospital stay was better this time that I knew what to expect, and probably because I was 28. The next day when the doctor came to check on me and baby. She told me she couldn’t believe I had done that. She told me “They” considered a 36cm head to be a large head and his was 37cm and the next day it was 37.25cm. I spent 2 nights there and went home on March 29. He was such a good baby. He hardly ever cried. My healing this time was something very different than the last time also. His big head, how fast and hard I pushed and not being able to feel anything because of the epidural had caused 4th degree tears. I’ll save you the details but its not good. I couldn’t sit, lay or walk with out extreme pain. I remember one night trying to sleep on my mom’s couch and crying because I had to go to the bathroom and I knew how badly it was going to hurt when I did. We spent the remainder of the week with my parents and then headed home finally after being away for 5 weeks. That sweet baby was truly my gift from God and I’d go through all of it again to make sure he was a part of this world.

I did not expect that this would take so many pages already with just two of the six birth stories. I was going to attempt them all but I don’t think anyone feeling like reading that much about labour all at once so I’m going to make this a series! This will be part one (obviously, haha).